Thursday, August 28, 2008

"You Like Me, You Really Like Me!"- Sally Field

So yeah I got a blog award! Tameka nominated me and now it's my turn to share the love! But first my acceptance speech. . . . . .

I wanna thank all you readers for looking past my 6th grade english level and continuing to read my posts even though I over use parenthesis and exclamation points!!!!!!

Big Ups to Google images for giving me crazy pics when I don't have any of my own!

Mad Props to MSN Homepage and any random blogs I stalk during the day, that are sometimes a source of inspiration when I have blog block!

Oh and I can't forget WorkSource for giving me the time and facility to change the world, one blog at a time!

and here are the Nominee's of my own personal choosing, These are blogs that inspire me and make me laugh! And the rules are once you recieve nomination for an award you post it on your own blog, nominate 7 people who rock your world, and then make sure you notify them yourself!

In no paticular order. . . . .

Neighbor Jane Payne- For making me wanna be a better person and always having a kind word and uplifting stories!

Katie- for making me wish I'd paid more attention in English

Jenifer- For proving you can be a good Mormon and still drink Dr. Pepper! Just kidding, Jenifer makes me wanna be a cool Mom like her someday!

Mitch Poth (And Golden)- For convincing me, that Fanny Packs should be ok and that someone owns a car even worse then mine!

Gwen- For forcing me to crack open the dictionary so I can understand her posts! She uses big words sometimes!

Jared and Lindsey- For making me wish I knew a graphic designer who could make my layout as AWESOME as theirs!

Angie- for inspiring me to Join the Blogosphere in the first place!

There you have it! Thanks again Tameka, and thank you friends who read my page, It really brightens my day when you comment or tell me you read my stuff and makes me think WOW. . . . You must be really bored!


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

"I wanna talk about me, wanna talk about I, wanna talk about #1 Oh My Me My!"- Tobey Keith

It's Take 5 Tuesday!!!

1. 5 things you're good at.

-Attracting crazies
-Naming the artist that’s playing in the background music
-Talking in a lateral lisp
-being late
-Welcoming the awkward turtle in the room

2. 5 things you wish you could say to someone.

-“There should be a rule, if you can’t fill out the application because you’re too stubborn to learn new things, then I guess you can’t work!”
-“Um, hanging out with your 50+ male, married boss, is kind of creepy, so it’s probably not gonna happen.”
-“That actually drives me crazy when you do that!”
-“Oh come on her body’s gonna end up looking like mine anyway!!!”
-"Diet advice makes me wanna punch you in the face!”

3. 5 times you can't help but smile.

-When I download the jams I’ve been dying to hear
-When I get a message from blogspot telling me someone commented on my blog
-Watching someone trip and/or fall (especially Lacey) because it’s never not funny!
-Wearing a new Outfit

4. 5 things you do for fun.

-Take Naps-Plan Themed Extravaganzas
-Read Wedding Magazines
-Watch TV with my Buddies

5.5 CDs you own.

-Future, Sex, Love Sounds, Justin Timberlake
-Sister Act II Soundtrack
-As I Am, Alicia Keys (Thanks to Angie)
-Legally Blonde the Musical (ditto)
-ABBA Gold (I’ve had it for years thank you very much!)

Thursday, August 21, 2008

“Do what you fear and fear disappears.” - David Joseph Swartz

About 2 weeks ago we had a ward camp out, and we the activities committee ( Me, Gwen, Michelle, and Jordan Baker) planned a slam bang function for everyone to participate in! We called it "Fear Factor Friday"

The first event-

Bobbing for Pigs Feet

Object of this game was to get as many Pigs feet out of the cooler as possible in the allotted time frame

Doesn't that look delightful, and Kylee was a champ! She dug right in!

Warren Jones aka Warren G

Sean aka Guitar Hero had a rough go in the beginning because his shoulders didn't fit in the first cooler, but he worked it out!

Ande bit off a little more then she wanted too . . . .and I mean that literally, as you can tell by the look on her face she's not excited about what's in her mouth right now!

Sarah Boyce is a commiter no doubt about it!

I think this is a double shot of Martin who because of his shoulders needed a second shot as well, and once he gave round two a go, he dominated!

Brandon Platt doing his imitation of a wet dog!

Group shot! Don't those look yummy?

It was either Warren or Martin that dominated with 5 pigs feet, but Rhoan Ashby gets props from me because he was able to get three in the original cooler we set up in, and no one else could!

2nd Event-

Mystery Food Challenge!

Each contestant drew a number and was given a special bowl full of delightfulness assigned to that number drawn, and the top two that finished the fastest would move on to the finals.

Let's see Guitar Hero had canned Bamboo Shoots, Warren with baby meat sticks, Sarah had Spinach and Potato baby food (the smell was not super awesome), and Brandon had a rough time with Cocktail Onions.

Our top 2 finishers for round 1 where Sarah and Warren

Round 2 we had Martin with Bamboo Shoots, Kylee with stinky cheese that looked like Parmesan but smelled way bad, Ande with pickled Okra, and Rhoan with the grossest of all Tamale sauce soaked sardines

You can tell that cheese must have been really fun to eat!

Martin and Ande took it for the 2nd round

3rd Event-

Secret's in the Sauce

The object of this event was to suck up as much sauce in the straw as you can and spit it back out into a mason jar and the person with the most in their jar by the end of the alotted time was the winner!

These are our final 4 contestants Warren G, Martin Roylance, Ande Payne, and Sarah Boyce

Sarah and Warren off to a good start

. . . . .look at those faces

Ande and Martin where neck and neck for a while there. . . . .

And the winner is. . . . . .

Martin Roylance!!!!

Here's Gwen presenting him with his oversized check!

You wanna know why there are no pictures of me, I tell you why. . . because I have a horrible gag reflex, and. . . . . . I'm a pansy! But these people really stepped it up and did what they had to do, I'm impressed. Now if only I could get them to dance at my dances! Appparently people would rather stick their head in Pig Feet Juice!

Well, to each his own!

Peace Out!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

“Storing your car in New York is safer than entering it in a demolition derby. But not much.”- Daniel S. Greenburg

My new friend Tameka proposed an interesting question on my blog on Monday. What's a Carny? Well I think most people are aware that a Carny is the nickname for a Carnival Worker usually the creepy ex felon running the rides at various fairs and festivals, and according to Austin Powers they have small hands and smell of cabbage.

To me it's just another name for White Trash! And If you've spent anytime in Moses Lake and worked at all with the public you know we got a lot of them!

Now listen here White Trash/Carny's are not just people who wear Tweety Bird or Taz after 1993, or are missing teeth or wear Pajama bottoms to a job interview (although that's a good sign). There's more to being Carny then appearance, it's a way of life.

If you leave your baby in the car on a hot day, If you have a Calvin peeing on something decal on your truck, If all of your children have been takin' away and you continue to have children, if you yell obscenities at your kids in public, or If you can't even spell system but are smart enough to milk it for all it's worth, then you are most definitely a Carny. You get the jest, right?

I've noticed that for some odd reason Carny's are drawn to 3 places. . . . . .

1) WalMart



3)Demo Derby's

Now I suppose this might pose a question for some of you about the state of my carnyness, meaning as I frequent Walmart (Hairspray's cheaper there) I work at WorkSource and I actually really love Demo Derby's! To this I say judge for yourselves, my point of this blog is make sure it's understood when someone is called a Carny and to also tell you about one of my carniest, guilty est pleasures.

Last Wednesday was the annual KWIQ Demolition Derby, and I know I mentioned that I really wanted to race this year, but unfortunately we didn't get the car finished, but no worries it's just more time to prepare for next year, and come up with a kick trash idea for decorating! Gwen has already dubbed my car "The Radillac" (because it's my Dad's old Cadi), and we have some pretty neat stuff in store, so we'll see if we actually make it happen.

. . . . But I Digress

This year I hit up the big show with my Sister and her Husband Darin and we sat ourselves in the Beer Garden. . . . .because there ain't nothin' quite like drunk Carny's!

I would have parked it by Gwen, Diedra, and the Quincy crew (all pictured here but not in that order) but there wasn't enough space for me and the fam! But don't worry they promised I was with them in spirit!

Turns out Dale Roth ( Family Friend that hooks me up with Singing Gigs and got me a job at the Radio Station) and his Daughter Jennifer Smith where sitting in front of the Quincy crew what a coincidence!

This car here won for best decorated which i thought was super lame because they won last year with the same idea. . . . you shouldn't win 2 years in a row with the same idea. . . . now that's uber carny!

Oh and if you'll notice the stream of dirt clods flowing behind this car, imagine being sprayed by that every time a car went by at a high velocity of speed. It's not pleasant if your wondering, bad idea on sitting up close!

This is my good buddy Erin Lawson aka Caraway's ride, she won one of the powder puff heats, check out those pipes in the back, pretty sweet huh?

This next guy got rammed and steam shot out of the car like a geyser, and I was like who needs to see "Ole Faithful" after that! It was amazing!

This is the second car that got flipped that night, the first was in the one of the Powder Puff races and I mean I've never seen those derby guys run faster to get in there and save the day, and they brought the fire truck in, and pretty much shut things down, and this dude flips over and every one's all non chalant like "it's cool guys, just tell him to walk it off". I guess chivalry is not dead!

Another sweet explosion of steam and metal, plus that guy has a fin on top of his car, and it looks like a dinosaur.

I'm telling you the sound of two smashing cars never gets old!

fire in the hole!!!!

So say what you will about the noise, endless time trials, and effects on the environment, but when you don't focus on the negative the Demo Derby can be pretty awesome, it's kind of like Hockey I'm not a violent person, but sometimes there's just something amazing about people fighting and bashing into each other, as is the case with the derby cars. Cars smashing and crunching or flipping over or losing parts, all sweet and make me stand up and shout! So that pretty much sums that up, now if you'll excuse me I'm off to buy some beer with my food stamps in my mu mu and curlers!

until tomorrow

Peace OUT!!!!!

Does that answer your question Tameka, and do you still wanna visit?

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

"Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." ~Voltaire

It's probably not a shock to any of you that I like food, so naturally my favorite part of the fair is the many tasty treats they offer that make my belly do the happy dance!

These are a few staples in my fair time diet

Funnel Cakes and Indian Tacos (not pictured)


True story I actually really hated these all growing up, but now I love them. For those that don't know a Spaceburger is a lovely concoction of hamburger, lettuce and special sauce (thousand island and relish I'm pretty sure, but shhhh it's a secret) sandwiched together in the shape of a UFO. These delightful snacks have been a staple of the fair for years, and has become one of the things looked forward to most by fair goers.

And my new found favorite Fruit Kabobs

Honorable mention goes too Thelma's Frozen Lemonade a delight on those horribly hot days, and you know I always fancy a Elephant ear when the budget permits (because after the Indian taco I can't stomach paying another eight dollars), I tried a deep fried Snickers bar, which to me always sounded disgusting, and would clog my arteries just thinking about it, but I gave it a go and was in deep fried heaven! I told myself I needed to eat nothing but salad for a month after consuming that, but totally worth it! And this year Gwen and I discovered Tater Dogs which is a sausage dog with a loaded potato as the bun, I was quite fond and thought that (along with the snickers bar) was completely brilliant and officially added that to my favorite list as well. . . . . there's just so much, I could go on and on.

Thursday Morning Tabitha and I where signed up to volunteer at the "Fruit Barn" concession stand. North Columbia Community Action Council sponsors this place and all proceeds went to their "Angel Fund" that helps provide necessities for low to no income families and helps them get their feet on the ground.

Any who Tabitha and I spent 4 hours making smoothies and takin' orders, and it was really fun, plus I was really jazzed about getting out of my cubicle for bit!

Here's Tab mastering the art of "Whip Cream on Top"

Let me tell ya, makin' those Smoothies and Jet Tea Concoctions where a breeze with this handy machine!

At the Fruit Barn we take our sanitation seriously!

And here's another happy customer! (Actually this is my friend Rachel from grade school, so she has to be happy)

Here's some action shots of how you make a fruit Kabob, just in case it's hard for you to figure out! This was the highlight of my concession stand experience, getting to sample the merchandise!

I know it's over priced and ridiculously unhealthy, but nothing sends me into a Euphoric state quite like fair food. . . . .would you disagree? I didn't think so!

Diet starts Monday!! Hee Hee

Peace Out!

Friday, August 15, 2008

“Were it not for the presence of the unwashed and the half-educated,the unreasonable and absurd, the horizon would not wear so wide a grin"

So like I told you, last week was the Grant County Fair and well let me just say, it was all I anticipated and more! I decided for this week I'm giving the review of some of my experiences, and I've been loading my camera with pictures, so for those of you who missed out or want to relive it. . . . . get excited because I'm psyched out of my mind for what's up next! But for today I wanted to share with you a dandy idea that's been brewing in my head.

The Sport that is "People Watching" has a prime season and for me, that's summer! I am continually shocked and amazed at the attire of most people when I head out for special summertime events, my amazement is especially perked during fair time, because it seems to me all rules and regulations regarding style fly out the window, and things that in normal life are mocked and snickered about behind ones back, all of a sudden become A OK!

Well alright then, if that's the case. . . . then game on!

SO for your benefit loyal blogging readers, I have compiled my very own list of things that are approved and encouraged to sport at special events like the one previously mentioned. No need to thank me I just want to ensure everyone blends in properly and doesn't feel foolish!

So here goes. . . .

Emily's Official Fair Time Style Guide


1. Rock a baseball cap. . . . but not just any baseball cap, only those sporting the logo of your favorite Auto Parts Store or local Gas station. . . .oh and make sure it's nice and stained with sweat and grease, that's much more authentic! All sports teams/ name brands need not apply!

2. I know you've had the same pair of jean shorts since '93, but please, please keep wearing them because apparently they never go out of style no matter what wash they are!

3. Unsure of what to pair with those classic cut offs

Fellas- The dirtier the T-Shirt the better and I don't mean unwashed, I mean please find that perfect shirt with a phrase on it that screams I'm the biggest Perv ever!!!!

Some of my personal favorites have been

"Sex Instructor, first lesson free"

"Will Work For Sex"

"What's a good girl like you, doing in dirty mind like mine"

and my personal favorite

"I'm not a Gynecologist, but I'd like to take a peek"

Isn't that tender! There where many others that where too dirty to repeat on my blog, but trust me they where gems!

And of course ladies, we can't forget you. . . . .

This mainly goes out to the ladies that are 40 and over. I have good news it's is officially OK for you to borrow your 21 yr. old daughters backless tank top, as long as you wear it to the rodeo you are golden! Just throw to the side the fact that things are not nearly as toned as they once where. . . . .I don't think anyone will notice! You just go and wear the heck out of that top with your cut off (but folded up so you can't tell) booty shorts and hit on a cowboy or two. After all you are as young as you feel, even if your saggy skin suggest otherwise.

4. My favorite look is the smocked tube dress, or as my Bro. in Law calls it the Uni-boob dress, appropriately named because that's exactly what it makes you look like, which to me is slightly unattractive, but I guess I'm the only one that feels that way, because I see these non stop on woman of every shape and size. No weight limit here!


1. DO Not. . . . I repeat Do Not Wear a belt. . . .ever! I think the picture explains it all!

2. There's no need to be ashamed of the part of your arms that don't see the sun, or it's OK if your swimsuits a halter top and your rocking something strapless. Do you have awkward tan lines, well wear them with pride because I guess I'm the only one judging people about this!

3. Ah the Fanny Pack . . . . . All joking a side this item is actually very handy at places like theme parks and festivals. . . .which makes them OK to sport, because they are simply just more convenient! I ridicule the pack of the fanny only when you're a middle aged man with pleated shorts and a baseball hat with an over sized bill and you come waltzing into my workshop at WorkSource with one of them on your hip, because then it's just ridiculous! So don't hate on the fanny pack unless you fit the description I just described!


1. You cannot pass up an opportunity for an over sized button with you and your closest family/friends, and be sure you wear that button some where for everyone to see, heck while your at it get two and wear one on each hip, that is a trend that defines fair time for me! It never fails, everywhere I look someones got an over sized button or an abundance of buttons and I think to myself who said that was cool? Apparently whoever it was is highly influential because this has been happening for years!

2. Any kind of grill in it self is fairly unattractive to most people, so add blinking lights to that effect and you got a pretty ugly accessory on your hands! But as un-adorable as it may be, still a huge huge hit with boys and girls a like, after the demo derby I can't tell you how many lit up mouths I saw, it was so funny looking, they must not have mirrors in the bathrooms, because I would think if anyone got a good look at themselves they would have realized how silly that was! But even so I guess my opinion doesn't matter and majority rules and that is why the light up grill is one of my must have accessories!

People never stop amazing me. I mean here I thought things like The Mullett because of it's widely known bad reputation would have people heading straight to the barber! Sadly, that is not so, I'm talking crazy talk because there where mullets all over the place along with everything else I just mentioned. So I've decided, if you can't beat 'em join 'em and the same goes for you. . . . you've been warned! My work here is done!