Tuesday, October 13, 2009

"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to”- Jerry Seinfeld

I’m not ashamed to say that celebrity gossip magazines are a form of media I indulge in on a regular basis, but after a while even a news hungry girl like me gets a little tired of some of the stuff they put out there, so as a result I have compiled a list of things I’m totally sick of hearing about!

May I present to you. . . . . .

Emily’s Top 5 magazine headlines she could go the rest of her life without reading!

1. Skinny Girls defending their weight-

Weight issues in Hollywood are old as it is, but more lately due to paparazzi being everywhere, unflattering photos surface all the time, such is the case with the likes of Jennifer Love Hewitt, Tyra Banks, and now Chloe Kardashian. Some crazy face takes a look at less then perfect pictures of them in swimsuits or their wedding dress and has the audacity to call them fat, and then they get the cover of People magazine defending themselves!

I looked it up and according to the American Obesity Association over 64% of America is overweight. So let me ask you something if a huge majority of the people who read these magazines have a weight problem, why on earth do they want to read about normal women defending their size!!!! Let me break it down for you, a persons fatness is determined by how many x’s are in their shirt size, and whether or not they have more then one chin! Not, if they have cellulite, or look less then perfect in white!

It’s not news when you already know they aren’t fat!

2. Jon and Kate Plus Eight

Kate is a bit of a nag and Jon sort of stopped caring, and I would venture to say having their personal lives put out there for everyone to see probably got to them, so let’s give them a break and stop giving a stupid play by play of every mistake they make! I was as surprised as anyone when the original announcement was made, but over half of the marriages in America end in divorce, so this should not be a huge shock anymore!

3. Brad and Angelina separating-

Sometimes I think it’s these darn gossip magazines that break people up. . . . For example! Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were happy as clams, until slowly but surely stories kept creeping up about how unhappy they were and they’d defend themselves but sure enough after enough poking and prodding, they eventually called it quits . . . why, probable because they got so worn out from having to defend themselves all the time and things got too hard!

Well let’s not let the same thing happen to Brad and Angelina, they have like 35 kids for heavens sake!

On another note, I think it should be against the law for people to divorce after having or adopting more then 4 kids! Have you ever tried tending to more then 4 children all by yourself, that’s rough! When you decide to have kids, especially a ton of them, I think it no longer becomes about what you need or if you are “Happy”. I say you kind of lose all rights to be selfish when you bring children into your home, and especially when you go on a child shopping spree around the world. Come on Brangelina stay together for the children, you started the collection of little ones together, and you should end it that way!

4. Anything involving Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt-

These people are obnoxious and serve no purpose, other then raising my blood pressure! If you don’t know who they are, good, let it stay that way. . . .They have done nothing to deserve the little fame they do have.

5. Celebrities hitting up Rehab-

Let’s face it kids, this kind of story is older then dirt! Who doesn’t go to rehab these days? I almost contemplated getting a substance abuse problem myself for the sole purpose of hitting up a Betty Ford because I mean . . . if that’s where the stars are hanging out . . . you get the picture!

Dear OK, Star, US Weekly, and People,

Let it be noted, said stories are driving me crazy! Please give me less of them! Thank you for your consideration!

Your Biggest Fan,
Emily West

Peace Out!!!!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

". . . . Heading for the nineties, living in the Wild Wild West, The Wild Wild West!"- Escape Club

I'm here to tell you people that dreams do come true!!!!

Why do I declare this to you now. . . . . let me explain. . . . .

Last year I tried to get our single adult ward to let me plan a Western themed party mainly due to the fact that I wanted some activity involving a Mechanical Bull, it had been something I hadn't ever tried and especially something our ward had not attempted, and I had found memories of this great place in Idaho Falls called "North Forty" where they had an arcade, a sweet Karaoke set up, a bar complete with Sarsaparillas and of course a Mechanical Bull! That place closed shortly after my Idaho friends and I discovered it, which was a sad day, so in order to recreate the Magic of that place I tried to convince the ward to let me plan a party, but that was shot down due to liability and all that mumbo Jumbo!. . . . . but never fear I was givin' a second chance to try my idea out once I was elected Programming Director at Big Bend, I was met with some skepticism. . . . but after enough prawding I got Kim on board and before I knew it we had a Back To School Western BBQ planned and ready. . . complete with a Bull and a bunch of other cool stuff!

Karaoke got shot down because we figured it be too difficult to get people to participate, so instead my good buddy JeriAnn Lincoln and her father who just so happen to play the good old Country Western tunes so they got hired to play, and we were set for entertainment, sarsaparillas got shot down because no one knows what they are, but we did have an amazing BBQ sauce fountain and delightful steak and chicken skewers to eat along with corn on the cob and baked beans. . . so as you can see I wasn't too upset! I was really just pleased I got my way and we were able to get our mechanical bull on!

Ok enough writing let's get to the pictures!

Rhoan with his stick horse stead!

Here's CJ with a tip of the hat as well and that's Carmen in the green doing a great job of supervising the inflatables!
Here is Makenzie Morrison cowboying it up!

Here's some lovely ladies from the Volleyball team rustlin' up some grub!

Here's Jeff eating with his mouth full like the polite one he is!

We found an Old Time Photo vendor who came with full costumes and props to really help us get in the spirit of things!

here's Carmen and Ginna trying on stuff without permission. . . . yeah that went over well!

Here's a little shot of me at the saloon right after I robbed the local bank!
Jeff and Ivory Ranstrom and Makenzie Morrison and I manned the hippity Hoppity Horse race course, but we didn't have a lot of patrons so we just sat and ate and watched people make fools of themselves on the bull. . . . that was until. . . .
This little girl showed up and I challenged here to a duel. . . . let's see what happens. . . .

Oh yeah don't you worry we had a calf ropin' event. . . most people weren't very successful especially jeff as you can tell by his face!

or this guy. . . . but bless his heart, he kept tryin' and tryin, and tryin' and seriously just kept tryin' ,it was glorious to observe!

Now for the moment you've all been waiting for. . . . . . IT'S BULL RIDIN' TIME!
Makenzie's all like "Let's do this"!
Ginna Fontaine, arm up and ready to whirl!

Nice dismount!

Mr. Ranstom ready to show the bull who's boss!

woah. . . steady. . . . . steady

and he doesn't last!
Charles Nun even gave it a shot, but by the looks of it, was thwarted as well!
You know my blog just wouldn't be my blog without unflattering shots of myself, posted for the world to see. . . .so here you are. . . .and enjoy!
The mounting of the bull was slightly difficult due to the fact that I am not only short. . . . but also chubby

but I made it by golly! First attempt was rough, I tried about 5 or 6 times with no dice, luckily my good buddy ginna offered me a boost, and then I was ready to GO!

Didn't last long though. . . . and down I went, quite gracefully if I do say so myself!

Morrison was kind enough to get footage of my 2nd attempt on the bull. . . .

I know, I know. . . . I just really have a body built for this kinda stuff!!!!
So back to the original statement about dreams. . . . . . To all you Kids out there, I'm living proof that if you bug enough people, eventually your wishes are granted. . . . and that's the truth!
So Dream Big or go home, those are my pearls of wisdom for the day!
Peace out!