Tuesday, May 20, 2008

"Mere bashfulness without merit is awkwardness."- Joseph Addison

I don't know what it is about Top Ten or Top 5 or even top 100 lists that everyone is obsessed with, but it seems to me you are a nobody in the blog world unless you have compiled some kind of list that expresses your feelings about something. Lately a lot of us have been buzzing about our favorite movies, songs, and albums. And I really love reading about peoples favorite forms of entertainment, but because I don't want to be a huge copycat, I've decided to switch it up a bit.

This Morning I read in the Tri-City Herald an interesting article about using the word "Awkward". They said "It is as if the world has become blessedly simplified. Every complex negative experience can now be encapsulated in two syllables." How true is that? How many times do we experience something uncomfortable and you look at your friends and say in your falsetto "AWKWWWAAARRDDD" I love it! Clears things right up!

They also included a list of top 5 things that are awkward so of course I decided to compile my own list!

Here is my Top Ten things that are Awkward!

10. "These are my Confessions" from the pulpit- I can't tell you how many times my friends and I have sat in Fast and Testimony meeting and just prayed that people wouldn't reveal their past transgressions as they attempt to say something spiritual, but really just make everyone squirm in their seats.

9. Slidding past people in a full row to get to your seat somewhere in the middle. . . . .especially at the movies and church- Excuse me, Pardon me, Excuse me, Pardon me. . . .You know the drill and the worst ever is trying to figure out which direction to go, because nobody likes a whole lotta booty up in their face, but is the other side any better. . . .I just don't know!!! And why do they put those darn rows so close together anyway??

8. Ignorance- let me give you an example, calling someone who is of Asian decent "Oriental" because you aren't aware that the word refers to product not People, and it's extremely offensive. Or joking about Cancer in front of someone who has it or lost someone with it. Pretty much when you aren't in the know you can create some seriously awkward moments.

7. Plus size girl trying to shop in the Juniors section- give it up sweety, i don't care if the material is stretchy it's not going to work, and you know all the ladies that work there are thinking the exact same thing!

6. Seeing someone you haven't seen for a long time, and them being excited to see you, but you don't remember their name!- this scenario especially sucks when you have other people around and it becomes necessary to introduce them. That's always a mess. Then having to shamefully ask them what their name is, and seeing their face drop, just adds to the horror!

5. Saying something really loud just as the room gets really quiet- Seriously it's like the weirdest thing, because it always happens, it's ineveitable you will almost always say something weird or stupid really loud just as everyone around you decides to stop talking for a second!!!

4. 9-11 yr olds- I can say this because these where by far my most awkward years, and I have yet to meet a kid this age that isn't slightly obnoxious sometimes! You know what i'm talking about right?

3. Hamburgers or sandwiches stacked really high- Seriously how do you eat those without looking stupid!!! Whose idea was it to make something way bigger then anyone could actually fit their mouths around?

2. Mixing Worlds- have you ever invited a co-worker to hang out with you and your friends, or had a family function with both sides of your family! yeah nine times out of ten someone feels out of place or people stay in their comfort zone and only talk to people they know! It's no use trying it never works!

1. Falling Down - No matter how graceful you are, I mean I don't care if you've been practicing Ballet since you where 2, nobody falls or takes a spill with sophistication and class! I can gurantee it's always gonna make you look and feel stupid, and it's almost always gonna make everyone around laugh really hard!!!

So that's that! Feel free to add your two cents. . . . did I miss anything?

Anyway um . . . . . well. . . . . I guess this. . . . . I mean I think this is when. . . . oh never mind

Peace Out!


MIUMIU said...

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You may ask. Please link.


Carolyn said...

Oh Emily. I love your list! It was amazing. I do however have to add something to the falling down thing...and I hope Deidra doesn't get mad. :D But, she fell SOOO gracefully one time. She was talking on the phone and walking home from school with me. She tripped over this curb, fell over, and rolled to the grass and just kept talking. Didn't laugh or make any noise or anything. It was amazing, I envy her. Then this boy just said, "That same curb got me last week." Then we both busted a gut and couldn't stop. However, anyone else I have ever seen fall, they haven't done it gracefully, you are RIGHT!

Jenifer said...

AMEN to #10!!!! For a while, we stopped going to that meeting because I couldn't handle all the confessions. Or, this is what I did all month...

Jenifer said...

BTW, I linked to that miumiu. It is all in "Oriental" writing. hee hee.

krystind said...

I found it awkward lastnight on american idol when randy jackson said this was the Duel of 2007.... HAHAHAHAHA

krystind said...

i think your number one should have been when josh jones was bearing his testimony and wasn't necissarily airing dirty laundry, but started to cry and bawl like NO ONES BUSINESS. And everyone was trying so hard to to laugh. There was not a person who's head wasn't down. Am i right? or am i right.

Another one is when people say something that they THINK is funny, but no one laughs. But obviously it could be saved by a "wow, that wasn't as funny as i thought it was going to be" that usually always saves it.

angie said...

k dizz-that 2007 comment from randy made us laugh too! AWKWARD!

well em you know that many things for me turn into awkward situations, so its hard to list everything that makes me feel slightly uncomfortable...i do agree with k dizz about people thinking they are funny and it's just dead air...that's mostly the reason why i can't watch new stand-up comedians....it's just too much.

Lisbet said...

Good for people to know.

Anonymous said...

excellent points and the details are more precise than elsewhere, thanks.

- Norman

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