Ok people there is something you should know. For a long time now I have longed for super stardom, and always, ever since I was a little girl, I thought I had no need to change my name! I thought "hey there aren't many well known Emily's" (this was in the 90's like way before it became the most popular name for 5 years in a row!) And my last name is West. . . . that's a direction. . . . automatically cool, right?
I've gone 20 some years now counting done the days til I become the most famous Emily West and then what happens. . . . . this summer I decide in moment of sheer narcicism I google my name and what do I find out. Apparently some 2 bit country bumpkin who just so happens to be named Emily West is one of the next up and coming country music artists! And I'm like excuse me. . . . . that's the name I was supossed to make famous missy! So I check out her myspace page and see that she's an adorable long legged blonde girl, and I seriously thought . . . Oh this is bad. . . . I mean it's bad enough she has my name and is making it as a singer, but she has long legs too!!!!! How is it she was able to steal every single one of my dreams!
I know what some of you are thinking, but Emily you love R&B way more then country? This is true but I did go through a country phase, and for a while there all I wanted to do was be the next Reba Mcintire.
I digress. . . .
Upon discovery of this dream theif, to ease my whoa's I assured myself that she was just a flash in the pan, and who has really heard of her anyway? A couple weeks later I was talking with Bro. Stones at Institute and he was telling me about how he just got back from Tennesee and happened to be watching a show at the Grand Ole Opry when they anounced that Emily West would be performing, and he looked at his wife and thought "No, It Couldn't be" And he was right it wasn't. This was not my favorite thing to hear and I explained to him my issues and he just chuckled. . . . but this is serious Bro. Stones!!!!
Ok, ok so she's performing at the immensly historic Grand Ole Opry big whoop, right? It's not like she's on the radio . . . . WRONG AGAIN! Brandon Platt comes up to me a few weeks later and says "yeah I was listening to the radio and I heard them say something about Emily West and I thought is that?" . . . . . . . NO IT'S NOT ME YOU CRAZY FACE!!!!!!!! If I had a song on the radio and was performing in Tennesee would I be here, come on your just making it worse! Oh yeah and then of course they both add in a little "She's Pretty Good". Just to twist that knife in my heart around a few more times!
Then just not even 10 minutes ago, I'm doing my thing in the ASB office and what comes on the big screen? Oh yeah a special Artist profile on GAC about none other then my newest arch Nemisis! Talking about how she's a rising star in the country music community and how Christmas is her favorite holiday. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY YOU WHOREMONGER!
So now as much as it pains me to ask I am now accepting suggestions for a new name? If any of you have any ideas, all would be greatly appreciated!
Also I have posted these videos here and you can decide for yourself. . . . who is more deserving of the name Emily West!
This is "Arch Nemesis" with her video "Rock in Your Shoe" or something like that. It's song about looking past the pit falls and little annoyances in life (Come On that's totally been done)! Also I'm almost positive I could take this girl in a dance battle.
Then here's me with my award winning performance at Springfest Idol 2007. Now keep in mind I didn't have intonation software to tune me up like I'm sure A.S. needed, this is raw and in your face live, so cut me some slack!
You haven't heard of me? That sounds absurd to me!
The moral of the story is "life is unfair kido's!" Sometimes skinny blonde girls take what is rightfully yours and you just have to sit back and wait for the right time to strike and reclaim your stolen prize!. . . . .And I will. . . . Oh please believe, Emily West will regret the day she stole my identity! and until then. . . . .