Wednesday, November 12, 2008

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose, By any other name would smell as sweet." ~William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Ok people there is something you should know. For a long time now I have longed for super stardom, and always, ever since I was a little girl, I thought I had no need to change my name! I thought "hey there aren't many well known Emily's" (this was in the 90's like way before it became the most popular name for 5 years in a row!) And my last name is West. . . . that's a direction. . . . automatically cool, right?





I've gone 20 some years now counting done the days til I become the most famous Emily West and then what happens. . . . . this summer I decide in moment of sheer narcicism I google my name and what do I find out. Apparently some 2 bit country bumpkin who just so happens to be named Emily West is one of the next up and coming country music artists! And I'm like excuse me. . . . . that's the name I was supossed to make famous missy! So I check out her myspace page and see that she's an adorable long legged blonde girl, and I seriously thought . . . Oh this is bad. . . . I mean it's bad enough she has my name and is making it as a singer, but she has long legs too!!!!! How is it she was able to steal every single one of my dreams!





I know what some of you are thinking, but Emily you love R&B way more then country? This is true but I did go through a country phase, and for a while there all I wanted to do was be the next Reba Mcintire.





I digress. . . .





Upon discovery of this dream theif, to ease my whoa's I assured myself that she was just a flash in the pan, and who has really heard of her anyway? A couple weeks later I was talking with Bro. Stones at Institute and he was telling me about how he just got back from Tennesee and happened to be watching a show at the Grand Ole Opry when they anounced that Emily West would be performing, and he looked at his wife and thought "No, It Couldn't be" And he was right it wasn't. This was not my favorite thing to hear and I explained to him my issues and he just chuckled. . . . but this is serious Bro. Stones!!!!





Ok, ok so she's performing at the immensly historic Grand Ole Opry big whoop, right? It's not like she's on the radio . . . . WRONG AGAIN! Brandon Platt comes up to me a few weeks later and says "yeah I was listening to the radio and I heard them say something about Emily West and I thought is that?" . . . . . . . NO IT'S NOT ME YOU CRAZY FACE!!!!!!!! If I had a song on the radio and was performing in Tennesee would I be here, come on your just making it worse! Oh yeah and then of course they both add in a little "She's Pretty Good". Just to twist that knife in my heart around a few more times!





Then just not even 10 minutes ago, I'm doing my thing in the ASB office and what comes on the big screen? Oh yeah a special Artist profile on GAC about none other then my newest arch Nemisis! Talking about how she's a rising star in the country music community and how Christmas is her favorite holiday. CHRISTMAS IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY YOU WHOREMONGER!





So now as much as it pains me to ask I am now accepting suggestions for a new name? If any of you have any ideas, all would be greatly appreciated!





Also I have posted these videos here and you can decide for yourself. . . . who is more deserving of the name Emily West!



This is "Arch Nemesis" with her video "Rock in Your Shoe" or something like that. It's song about looking past the pit falls and little annoyances in life (Come On that's totally been done)! Also I'm almost positive I could take this girl in a dance battle.










Then here's me with my award winning performance at Springfest Idol 2007. Now keep in mind I didn't have intonation software to tune me up like I'm sure A.S. needed, this is raw and in your face live, so cut me some slack!


You haven't heard of me? That sounds absurd to me!
















The moral of the story is "life is unfair kido's!" Sometimes skinny blonde girls take what is rightfully yours and you just have to sit back and wait for the right time to strike and reclaim your stolen prize!. . . . .And I will. . . . Oh please believe, Emily West will regret the day she stole my identity! and until then. . . . .



Peace Out!

13 comments:

DJ and Melissa said...

Oh I am so glad you posted, I needed a little reading material. What is your middle name? You could just go by Emily ______ and drop the West.

T.Allen-Mercado said...

You are incredibly funny (and talented)! I didn't watch Miss Missy's video. I'm keeping my mind unadulterated,so that when you make it big you will be the only Emily West I've ever heard of.

Your video was great. Emily-are you shopping yourself anywhere? You need a demo dear...quickly!

Tiffany Fackrell said...

ok, here is what I think, not that it really matters, but I am telling you anyway!ha. So you know how they have housing developments where all the houses look the Exact same, well we call them cookie cutter communities. Well I think the country singing business is becoming a cookie cutter business. Honestly she looks just like the rest of them, we could slap the name taylor swift, carrie underwood....you get the point, on that video. Come on people that is not original, we need something NEW!!! Also her voice was too twangy, I guess true country, and that just isn't my favorite!! I much more prefer your BEAUTIFUL voice!! And this is not just something I am saying to make you feel better...I AM SERIOUS! I agree with Melissa, what is your middle name...just go by that! But I can see how annoying this all must be to you, and a little ironic that it all happened so fast even with everyone mentioning her...weird!

Mindy said...

Emily, I had no idea that you could sing. Where have I been? I watched the country music video, well not all of it, cause honestly it is not my style, pretty awful actually. I thought your song was great and you did a great job. Plus we all love you and there could never be another Emily West.

Ty and Jenny Robbins said...

All I can say about her video is "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." I watched a grand total of about 30 seconds of it before I got sinfully bored. Yours...I watched the whole thing.

You know what probably happened? She probably came to Moses Lake, ya know, just strollin' through and saw you somewhere and was like, "Whoa, that girl so dang cool...I wish I could be cool...I know I will find out her name and then use it to make me cool for her name must something undeniably amazing and a sure way to stardom." So she stole it and thus enabling her to therefore be famous.....LOOOOOZAR!!!

What, it could happen? I agree with going with your middle name. It'll be like a sneak attack!

Gwen Stoker said...

If you had a song on iTunes I'de buy it. If you had a fan club, I'de pay to be in it. hell, I'de even buy a shirt with your new famous name on it surrounded by a heart. You dominate anyone who dare challenge you to a dance battle. You aren't even phased by the confines of a car, you lock it up and beat down!!!! I do like the one name bit...but then again theres Rihanna, Ciara, Madonna, Kelis (ridiculous I named her I know), Leah (that country radio host), Iman, O.J., I mean you deserve to be original and unique. You deserve a name with jazz. That and sequins. Oh and Glitter. I'll put my brain in overdrive to think of a fresh, hott, new ditty for you to be famous by.

Lena Gilbert said...

I think you should go by emily east...or EE for short. I think it could work. I love how you called her a whoremonger. I laughed out loud.

Lena Gilbert said...

I think you should go by emily east...or EE for short. I think it could work. I love how you called her a whoremonger. I laughed out loud.

Monkeys ARDently In Sinc said...

You so rocked spring fest!

Kyle said...

This is such a travesty. If you want I can make it all better. Just say the word. I know people...who know people... Your name nor mine would ever be known.

Piper said...

I feel your pain. I went through my whole life as the only Piper around, then my senior year some ho transfers in!!! WITH MY NAME!!! She was a year younger, so I was still first. She was a snot, too, and people would get us mixed up! Man I was pissed!!
The original is always best.

Anonymous said...

Ylime Stew, whadya thing, it's Emily West backwards, get it? I kind of like it.

I do like the idea of a one name name for your so how about combining your initials, EW, oooh I like it.

Or you could just add another name like Emily Jo West, or Emily Mae West, or Emily Bob West. Or maybe Emily The Best West.

EW is my fav.

Samantha said...

I laughed out loud at Whoremonger too. And I could picture Bro. Stones chuckle exactly. Sorry about your stolen identity. I agree with the crowd, I think you sound WAY better.