Tuesday, October 13, 2009

"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to”- Jerry Seinfeld

I’m not ashamed to say that celebrity gossip magazines are a form of media I indulge in on a regular basis, but after a while even a news hungry girl like me gets a little tired of some of the stuff they put out there, so as a result I have compiled a list of things I’m totally sick of hearing about!



May I present to you. . . . . .



Emily’s Top 5 magazine headlines she could go the rest of her life without reading!



1. Skinny Girls defending their weight-

Weight issues in Hollywood are old as it is, but more lately due to paparazzi being everywhere, unflattering photos surface all the time, such is the case with the likes of Jennifer Love Hewitt, Tyra Banks, and now Chloe Kardashian. Some crazy face takes a look at less then perfect pictures of them in swimsuits or their wedding dress and has the audacity to call them fat, and then they get the cover of People magazine defending themselves!

I looked it up and according to the American Obesity Association over 64% of America is overweight. So let me ask you something if a huge majority of the people who read these magazines have a weight problem, why on earth do they want to read about normal women defending their size!!!! Let me break it down for you, a persons fatness is determined by how many x’s are in their shirt size, and whether or not they have more then one chin! Not, if they have cellulite, or look less then perfect in white!


It’s not news when you already know they aren’t fat!



2. Jon and Kate Plus Eight


Kate is a bit of a nag and Jon sort of stopped caring, and I would venture to say having their personal lives put out there for everyone to see probably got to them, so let’s give them a break and stop giving a stupid play by play of every mistake they make! I was as surprised as anyone when the original announcement was made, but over half of the marriages in America end in divorce, so this should not be a huge shock anymore!


3. Brad and Angelina separating-


Sometimes I think it’s these darn gossip magazines that break people up. . . . For example! Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey were happy as clams, until slowly but surely stories kept creeping up about how unhappy they were and they’d defend themselves but sure enough after enough poking and prodding, they eventually called it quits . . . why, probable because they got so worn out from having to defend themselves all the time and things got too hard!


Well let’s not let the same thing happen to Brad and Angelina, they have like 35 kids for heavens sake!


On another note, I think it should be against the law for people to divorce after having or adopting more then 4 kids! Have you ever tried tending to more then 4 children all by yourself, that’s rough! When you decide to have kids, especially a ton of them, I think it no longer becomes about what you need or if you are “Happy”. I say you kind of lose all rights to be selfish when you bring children into your home, and especially when you go on a child shopping spree around the world. Come on Brangelina stay together for the children, you started the collection of little ones together, and you should end it that way!


4. Anything involving Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt-


These people are obnoxious and serve no purpose, other then raising my blood pressure! If you don’t know who they are, good, let it stay that way. . . .They have done nothing to deserve the little fame they do have.


5. Celebrities hitting up Rehab-


Let’s face it kids, this kind of story is older then dirt! Who doesn’t go to rehab these days? I almost contemplated getting a substance abuse problem myself for the sole purpose of hitting up a Betty Ford because I mean . . . if that’s where the stars are hanging out . . . you get the picture!



Dear OK, Star, US Weekly, and People,


Let it be noted, said stories are driving me crazy! Please give me less of them! Thank you for your consideration!


Your Biggest Fan,
Emily West

Peace Out!!!!

6 comments:

Ben or Cortney said...

Amen!!!

Katie said...

Ha ha ha. I got a kick out of this =-) It's so true. Although, I still secretly think Brad Pitt is scum. I feel like he totally cheated on Jennifer Aniston, so he and Angelina deserve what they get. I agree it's not fair to all the foreign kid-os though.

Tiffany Fackrell said...

I second the jon and kate plus eight. my husband almost started swearing last night when he heard their names again on Enternainment tonight!! I seriously had to calm him down. the media needs to move on to something else!!

Han*Gaert said...

Lol! What a hoot! Yah- I'm pretty much sick and tired of ALL those stories. Jon and Kate plus eight? Really? Let them divorce and lets just move on already! :)

Love Nichole

Jenifer said...

Amen sista! I don't know who I hate more....Speidi or Jon and Kate.

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