"I'm gonna make a change. . . . for once in my life!"- Michael Jackson "Man in the Mirror"

As my friends and family members have made their endevors this past year to lose weight and get healthy, it's been nagging at me for some time now, that maybe I should follow suit and start making some changes myself, but then I'd get hungary. Then Angie's fat jeans started to get unbareably tight and I couldn't handle it anymore, so I put my comfy pants on and ate some candy. Then I started noticing a third chin creeping up on me in various pictures, but yet I continued to indulge thinking "yeah it be a good idea to cut back. . . . .maybe I'll start tomorrow!" So finally my Mommalla asked me last week if I wanted to start Weight Watchers with her, and I said You know what, why not!





So last Thursday I attended by first meeting, I weighed in (it was pretty bad) and since Friday I have been watching my points, and trying my hardest to kick the bad habits I have built up so much over these past years or wait actually my whole life. I know it's only been 5 days, but it's almost like every 2 hours is a struggle with my mind. For example, after I got off work on friday I had to talk myself out of getting an Arby's Chicken Cordon Blu sandwich, and then at I was hanging with Angie and a Pizza Hut commercial came on and I had to convince myself I didn't need any pizza, then we went to Burger King and Angie got a frozen coke, it took a lot of effort for me not to order anything, especially after seeing that advertisement for the York Peppermint pattie pie they have now.





Anyway that's just a few instances, but it's almost like my mind goes into panic mode if I don't seize the opportunity to consume the food available. Why do I think it's the last time I'm ever gonna be able eat that stuff.





All of these things got me thinking. I'm pretty much just like anyone else addicted to something. Drugs, Porn, Food. . . . . it's all the same. It is in my nature to be accesive as every personality test has elluded too, so I guess I really have to put off the natural man on this one and tell myself no.





I'm doing pretty good, I'm giving myself a lot of pep talks, and I really hope I can eventually re wire my brain to think better when it comes to food, what a silly thing to let get out of control right? Well It's sad but true!





Another thing I've been thinking about is since I was little I've tried so hard to be "Fat and Proud" and "It's ok for me to be this way", and "Why can't people accept me for me", and blah blah blah, but I've come to realize no one should be proud of being un healthy! Right? I think Jeffery R. Hollund said this in conference 2 years ago-



"We should all be as fit as we can be—that's good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size."



I remember that really sticking with me, and now I think it's time to put that into action.



Although I seriously doubt I would be anything like I am today If I didn't struggle so much with my weight all my life, having to push extra hard for exceptance, really molded my personality, and for that I don't regret. I am a little concerned, because one time someone told me they couldn't imagine me skinny, and that it would change me. Well I really hope the only thing that changes for me is the amount of hearts I brake!!!!!! Yeah! take that boys who didn't like me when I was fat!

I'm getting ahead of myself, I haven't even lost any weight yet that I know of, but just to some things up. Michael Jackson said it best when he said "I'm starting with the Man in the Mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer, If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change!" Cue the gospel choir, and Peace Out!