"Prop Me Up Beside The Jukebox If I Die" -Joe Diffie

Yesterday I attended a funeral for my Great Aunt Florabelle, she was a wonderful lady who I always looked forward to seeing at family reunions. Mainly because she always made me feel good about myself, even when I was going through an awkward phase. She was a small, petite lady, but had a larger then life personality. Her and My Great Uncle Cecil where married for 69 years!!! Can you believe that? I had never seen either of them without eachother. So at the service I kept expecting her to pop up around the corner put her hands on my face and tell me how happy she was to see me. She will be missed that's for sure!



Here is a picture of my family and I at the service (my Papala didn't get the black memo)



As I was sitting in the chapel listening to the pastor talk a little about Florabelle, it got me thinking about what exactly I want my funeral or memorial service to be like! All my life i've lived for whatever fun activity was heading my way next, or what adventure I could try and tell people about later! So I don't want just any old formal farewell! I want my final send off to be as fun as it could be if I was actually gonna be there physically! Go out with a bang! You know what I mean? So here is a list of my Funeral demands. . . .if they are not met I will probably come back and haunt whoever doesn't get the job done! (Someone should inform my mother. . . .she doesn't read my blog)


1.Maybe I won't be there to hear all the flattering stories, but after the usual Eulogy is delivered make sure we have an open mike time so people can share entertaining memories about me and "how much they're gonna miss me because" stories. Make sure Angie, Michelle, and Lynette do not turn it into a roast! I'm dead why do I need to be humbled?

2.I need a slide/video montage of my life and all my greatest accomplishments and good times, hopefully i'll have a family by then and even better some awards. . . .so be sure to add clips of my super unforgettable MTV video music award speech and or clips from my interview with Barbara Walters during the Most fascinating people of whatever year that happens show. And of course atleast one or two of my covers of Cosmo, Maxim, and Ladies Home Journal. And I don't want just sappy "One Sweet Day" songs playing in the backround. . . .I want Dynamics! Mostly upbeat and then ending with a tear jerker (I put Angie in charge of the soundtrack)

3. Music, Music, Music!!! If you must make it almost like a cabaret I don't care. . . .but I won't lot's of special musical numbers and or musical tributes! I need a gospel choir, and if Patti Labelle and Yolanda Adams could have a vocal run battle and see who can out manipulate the notes best, I would appreciate it! (Please do not have the song of choice be "Wind Beneath my Wings" it's been done!)

Lastly. . . .

4. Dinner's on me! All my favorite foods catered from all my favorite places and make sure there is some kind replica of me in ice sculpture form. . . .and a chocolate fountain. . . and non alchoholic martini luge. . . .oh and a cake from Ace of Cakes in the shape of something awesome that I'll think of later!

As silly as these demands are, I want you to know I'm (pardon the pun) "dead" serious about keeping things happy and fun. I've been to many a service where I left disappointed the person didn't get a better tribute. When we gather together to remember those we've lost we want to do exactly that, remember them for what they where and what they accomplished in their life and brought into ours. Not everyone is all about having a good time, good! Let them have the boring funeral! Make the service match the person. . . .that's all I'm saying!



Here's to no one having to make this happen soon!!! (Knock on Wood)

Peace Out!